Bikes before dikes
TMTB: We're like the friggin' Post Office.
I could go for some bi(ke)sexual action.
No one sees Nickeck, just a swiftly-moving backhand.
Hey, who are you?
Nick... I like that name.
Nickeck: Bitcoin Millionaire
I saw a bunch of roadies, decked out with aerobars, disk wheels, and skinsuits. Man, they were pissed when the guy in a wifebeater on a mountain bike passed them.
I realized that he was seconds away from an extremely violent and painful death at the hands of Nickeck and the thought of the impending violence was really exciting!
I'm an irrationally angry asshole, which makes me go to the gym and lift like an asshole, which floods my body with more testosterone, which makes me an even more irrationally angry asshole.
Our friendship underwent an extraordinary test today and I want you to know that, after twenty-some years, I still chose you, Nickeck.
Oh, isn't that cute? So you came here, expecting me to beg for your forgiveness?
When I thought about how many Bitcoins it would take to keep me out of prision, I realized it was something I shouldn't do.
The guy showed up with a beater bike with no suspension and a kickstand. I realized that there is a difference between someone that mountain bikes and someone that rides a mountain bike...
That's not what we stand for... What do we stand for?
The park is always closed on game day!


The singletrack was designed by angry lesbians that want to punish me for being a man.
In Newark, you wake up and find out that you've been stabbed.
Eh, my credit's good with you... said me... because that's how lending works...
You think that's bad? My friend got kicked out of Spain for 7 years!
He's got a wait problem! He just can't wait to eat!
Strip Mania? That sounds like the Costco of strip clubs.
I encrypted all of my files so that the Man wouldn't get into them. And it worked! I can't get into any of them now!
Is that guy walking a gopher?
I'd rather be alone with nothing but the worst German dungeon porn imaginable than have to live like that...
There's porn on Tumblr?!?!
I don't want my son falling in love with him again. And sure enough, he did!
Yo, eff the cyber police!
Well, well, well... If it isn't Nickeck and the Arab Mr. Clean...
He Amtrak'ed my train of thought!
Computers can't divide by the number of f%#&s I give!
That works out because I'm part Serbian.
Great, so you can talk to them about whatever you Serbs do...
So, talk about genocide?
If you were half the man my wife is, you'd get out of the car!


We help each other with these things.
We do?
We would.
She disqualified herself... said us.
I can't go from zero to Wolfenstein
Are you Julio's cousin? Yeah, my friend steals his wifi. We should hook up.
So they left to go have the threesome. I'm in the bathroom at the Bud Light Hotel. Needless to say, I wasn't invited along.
So, I met this dominatrix at a unicycle festival...
I don't creep on Facebook, I just use Bing.
Send her gopher pics.
She's a bad wingman. She's like baking cookies with a fat kid...
Hey girl, I heard you like cheese...
You're so good with women, Dank.
I met his girlfriend, or as I like to call her, "Thy Neighbor's Wife"
I was really diggin' these chicks until one of them whipped out a selfie stick.
I'm like Frontier: I don't handle baggage.
Yeah, she invited you to the beach while you were buying a pool noodle for bike jousting!