TMTB Ventures

TMTB Ventures is a locally-sourced, small-batch consultancy comprised of homebrewed, artisan innovators, cage-free serial entrepreneurs, and fixed-gear investors. We’re a vintage-repurposed organization that’s aiming to thoroughly disrupt the tech community with bitter sarcasm.

We provide consulting services and technology solutions to our customers.

Tech Consulting

TMTB Ventures offers no-bullshit technology consulting in a world where Silicon Valley disciples walk around like Children of the Corn. We don’t play their game. Rather than give you some rambling and generic propaganda about how disruptive our services are, here is some TMTB trivia:

We once opened the Ark of the Covenant. Rather than being liquefied, we now have more knowledge about InnoDB and buffer pools than anyone ever should.

There’s a metallic, burning smell coming from one of our compute nodes, containing an aging AMD 7990. This piece of overkill-embodied can keep the office toasty on even the coldest days.

We have an old and unresponsive MPI node that periodically prints large swaths of traditional Chinese characters to its console. While almost certainly malware, proper use of UTF-8 is too beautiful to shut off.

As the above was likely captivating and thoroughly convincing, please send inquiries to